Posts Tagged ‘Rise Records’

Hilariously bad music

Wednesday, June 17th, 2009

In theory I’m an aesthetic relativist and I don’t particularly believe in the idea of absolute standards for judging art. However, I occasionally encounter something that makes me think, “this is complete and utter shit and anyone who likes it is brainwashed, an idiot, or both.”

Case in point: Brokencyde, whose “screamo/crunk” garbage should really just be called “date-rape-core.” Their crap has been all over the internet lately, but if you’ve been fortunate enough to avoid it thus far, here I am to burst your bubble.

Other awesomely terrible songs by this band: “Get Crunk,” “Bree Bree” (my favorite, and it’s even worse live if that’s possible). “Bree bree,” of course, is how folks refer derogatively to the metalcore vocal styling known as “pig squealing.” The hilarious thing is that the Brokencyde dudes can’t even do a proper pig squeal. They’re appropriating a derogatory term and then bungling the execution. Comedy gold! (Also, best Youtube comment ever: “ha, the world is a strange place & white people are´╗┐ funny.”)

Another case in point, pretty much anything on Rise Records, like this utterly hilarious Autotuned crap from Attack Attack! (be sure to make it to the 2:46 mark for maximum amusement). Worth noting that these guys are ridiculously, shamelessly awful even in their name, as they were founded a year after Welsh band Attack! Attack!

If I were the type to declare things as harbingers of the decline of Western civilization, the popularity of this kind of stuff would probably make the list.